Poor Unfortunate Souls - Pat Carroll

[00:00.72]The only way to get what you want...
[00:02.36]...is to become a human yourself!
[00:05.24](Gasps with excitement) Can you do that?
[00:07.97]My dear, sweet child,
[00:11.28]That's what I do...
[00:12.94]It's what I live for.
[00:14.82]To help unfortunate merfolk,
[00:17.77]Like yourself...
[00:19.58]Poor souls with no one else to turn to...
[00:26.00](singing) I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
[00:29.20]They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
[00:32.59]But you'll find that nowadays
[00:34.29]I've mended all my ways
[00:36.20]Repented, seen the light and made a switch
[00:39.17]True?
[00:39.88]Yes!
[00:41.52]And I fortunately know a little magic
[00:45.20]It's a talent that I always have possessed
[00:48.30]And dear lady, please don't laugh
[00:49.99]I use it on behalf
[00:51.94]Of the miserable, the lonely and depressed
[00:55.34](Pathetic)
[00:57.56]Poor unfortunate souls
[01:00.43]In pain
[01:02.10]In need
[01:03.68]This one longing to be thinner
[01:05.16]That one wants to get the girl
[01:07.90]And do I help them?
[01:08.30]Yes, indeed
[01:10.10]Those poor unfortunate souls
[01:12.81]So sad
[01:14.25]So true
[01:16.13]They come flocking to my cauldron
[01:17.57]Crying, "Spells, Ursula please!"
[01:19.46]And I help them?
[01:20.23]Yes, I do
[01:22.53]Now it's happened once or twice
[01:24.28]Someone couldn't pay the price
[01:26.36]And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
[01:31.35]Yes, I've had the odd complaint
[01:33.50]But on the whole I've been a saint...
[01:36.88]To those poor unfortunate souls
[01:45.68]Have we got a deal?
[01:47.58]If I become human...
[01:49.16]I'll never be with my father or sisters again.
[01:51.46]That's right
[01:52.65]But, you'll have, your man. (laughs slyly)
[01:56.44]Life's full of tough choices, i'nnit? (laughs slyly)
[02:02.18]Oh!
[02:03.38]And there is, one, more, thing!
[02:06.54]We haven't discussed the subject of payment.
[02:08.66]But I don't have any -
[02:09.53]I'm not asking much.
[02:11.23]Just a token, really!
[02:12.91]A trifle!
[02:13.75]What I want from you is . . .
[02:16.49]Your voice.
[02:18.16]But without my voice, how can I -
[02:20.26]You'll have your looks!
[02:22.54]Your pretty face!
[02:24.42]And don't underestimate
[02:26.23]The importance of ... body language!
[02:30.14]Ha!
[02:30.99]The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
[02:33.87]They think a girl who gossips is a bore
[02:36.62]Yes, on land it's much preferred
[02:38.50]For ladies not to say a word
[02:39.33]And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
[02:42.12]Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
[02:45.97]True gentlemen avoid it when they can
[02:48.72]But they dote and swoon and fawn
[02:50.31]On a lady who's withdrawn
[02:51.93]It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man
[02:54.40]Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
[02:58.36]Go ahead!
[02:59.75]Make your choice!
[03:01.45]I'm a very busy woman
[03:02.80]And I haven't got all day
[03:04.71]It won't cost much:
[03:06.45]Just your voice!
[03:07.66]You poor unfortunate soul!
[03:10.12]It's sad,
[03:11.25]But true!
[03:12.74]If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
[03:14.46]You've got to pay the toll
[03:15.79]Take a gulp and take a breath
[03:16.99]And go ahead and sign the scroll!
[03:18.94](Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys)
[03:21.22]The boss is on a roll
[03:24.55]This poor unfortunate soul...
[03:36.25]Beluga sevruga
[03:37.91]Come winds of the Caspian Sea
[03:42.17]Larengix glaucitis
[03:43.44]Et max laryngitis
[03:45.21]La voce to me
[03:49.90]Now, sing!
[03:52.42]Aah...
[03:57.37]Keep singing!